Cali Mentality

“I got my board shorts, tank top, vans, long board, and zig zags what else could I need?” – Cali bro

Cruising the Bay area streets on their over sized skate boards wearing canvas shoes, the Cali bros popularity is quickly catching on in the west coast. They are migrating at a speed never seen before. Dallas Texas is currently being taken over.

Thankfully us north easterners will be the last of our nation to see them, being the farthest away from the origin. We will just have to see if their style can successfully cross the mid west. (Hopefully not)

One angry anti-Cali bro described them as “A guy in California who has all matching clothes and wears straight billed hats up and to the right. They are always d-bags.” If they happen to wear sleeves they are probably in an overly extended V-neck, which matches their “vans that look like sneakers.”

If you catch these Cali bro’s at the beach getting their bronze on they will most likely be shirtless in the same board shorts they wore all week holding a surf board. Also note f you come in contact with one you may catch the ever-contagious symptom of the “Cali Mentality.” Be very careful in large Cali bro populated area. My suggestion would be run.

Sorry I couldn't get a good picture of a Cali boy, every time I searched it on google Gay porn came up. Don't worry no link to that!

Hardcore Parkour

Parkour, the Internet sensation of 2004. It is a high speed run through an urban area involving jumping on to thing and jumping off of things. The experienced also include flips and aerials in their run. This “sport’s” initial main concept is to get from one point to another in the most efficient way possible. However, it has evolved into an art form most wonderfully displayed by Michael Scott and boys from “The Office.” A YouTube video named “Parkour Kids” gives a great description of parkouring if mine has not been sufficient.

“There are so many options. You can jump over the bench and do a spin, or you can go around the bench and do a spin” – Parkour kids

I have recently taken up the sport, learning under veteran Scott Logan (Slogan), and I am picking up new tricks by the day with his expertise. He has just showed me a move called the “Kong” which is when you jump over something and only touch it with your hands.

I have found out one of the most important things about parkouring is having a posse. Mine, containing Josh Moore, Gerald Fawcett, Chase "the flop" Wildes, and then a few grommets that aren’t good enough to name in this blog quite yet.

I have learned that there is a set of unwritten rules out there on the parkouring streets. I will let you beginners in on a few so that you don’t have to learn the hard way like I. Never cut off a parkourer that has seniority even if you are about to do the most gnarly trick. To get respect, you have to earn it from the older guys. As a grommet you are expected to do anything you are asked by senior parkourer’s. If you are aloud to hit a wall with them think of it as your opportunity to shine because they are judging you. That moment can make or break you.